Today was a day of extremes. After dinner tonight Kevin and I took the girls for a walk around Interlocken (the tech center near us). We happened upon a beautiful tennis court and softball field and decided to take a closer look. The night was perfect - probably 68 degrees or so, still and quiet. It was the kind of night that you wish would never come to an end.
As we got closer to the tennis courts we noticed that there were old tennis balls everywhere. Very quickly Emma, Claire and Olivia, found themselves in a kid's paradise. There were balls and space to run and play and a mom and dad to chase every ball that they attempted to toss our way. We played in those tennis courts for at least a half an hour, just running and throwing balls and giggling with our girls. An old worn out tennis ball became a great treasure for each of them as we left.
After a few more minutes of running the bases of the softball field and taking a plunge into the water sprinklers, we started back to the van. I was amazed at how every clover and pine cone along the way back became a treasure worth smelling and touching and savoring. I love how children are such experts at making the often unnoticed as exciting as Disneyland or a birthday party.
Soaked, with flowers in their hair, pine cones in their pockets and old worn out tennis balls in their hands, the girls climbed back into their carseats. What started out as a walk with the sole purpose of getting them tired and ready to go to sleep, turned into a grand adventure. Simplicity. . .
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Rewinding my day back to this morning. . .
I have this acquaintance. He is brilliant. He's far too brilliant for me. I have always kept my distance because I am far from brilliant. My thinking and my understanding of God is very simple - almost childlike. Most days I am thrilled to have a childlike faith in God. It has served me well. It has allowed me to accept many things about Him that seem ridiculous to the "brilliant."
Now don't get me wrong, I like to think that I understand a bit about God. My understanding comes from relationship and experience, though - not from facts and statistics and things that must be "proven." But today I found myself wishing for more answers to give. It was SO frustrating! It was far from simple - hugely complex.
You see, I have been concerned for and praying for my brilliant acquaintance for quite some time. Yet, I have always kept my distance for quite a few reasons. But today (thanks a lot, God) I had to speak up. Today the random conversation that I found myself a part of hit my heart in a way that I simply knew that God was prompting me to open my mouth.
I will spare the details. Let's just say that all I wanted to do was make one statement very clear to him. His generalization of Christians versus those of other faiths was completley wrong, and I wanted to lovingly let him know that all Christians are not the same. I wanted him to know that I would obey God in the same way as the man from another faith, but for different reasons. I hoped to then walk away and pat myself on the back for speaking what God wanted me to speak. But it did not happen quite that way.
After about 15 minutes of conversation I "learned" that the grass is God and the trees are God and that he is God and that God is Life. I "learned" that God is a woman and that to believe the stories of the Bible 100% makes me disillusioned. Of course, I did my share of debating back and forth. I did not leave the conversation feeling defeated. I did leave the conversation mad - MAD at Satan for feeding lies to the vulnerable - MAD at myself for not having better answers to fire back - MAD for even wanting to fire back at all. And deeply and undeniably saddened for my brilliant acquaintance - Sad that there are so many more like him.
You see, I'm not sure why God chooses to set some people on a certain path and others on another drastically different path. I'm not sure why I have a simple faith and others are too complex to even declare faith. I'm not sure why I can sense God's promptings and "hear" his voice (sometimes) and others are deaf. I'm not sure why others question more and I can so easily accept.
I am sure that many would agree with my brilliant acquaintance in saying that I am disillusioned. That's fine. I really don't mind that someone might think that of me. My final thought on today as it comes to an end. . .at least I can lay down tonight in peace. For as simple as my mind might be, at least it can find rest.
I don't have all the answers, nor do I want them. But I do have a peace that transcends everything that life throws my way. God is my creator. God is my Father. God is my friend. He is not a blade of grass that I can mow down or an ant that I might squish. He is a perfect being that loves me and leads me and allows me the experience of faith and love and security and eternal life. He, through Jesus, is the ONLY way to heaven. He is the one who pursues and prompts. And I pray that he will continue to do that with my brilliant acquaintance.
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