This week I have been faced with the whole thought of being a church planter's wife much more than usual. I hardly even consider myself a woman with that title anymore, though I know that I am.
I recently had a conversation with a great friend who is planning a church planter's wives retreat in Texas in a few short weeks. I have attended many times. She asked me to brainstorm some new twists to the retreat. . .This morning I googled my way to a blog that was created to open up dialog between church planting wives. . .Then I looked on the NAMB website. They have this survey for church planter wives to take so that they can more fully understand the struggles that we face. They want to provide some type of assistance in support and training. . .And in the middle of it all, I keep thinking to myself - "I don't struggle."
Everyone around me seems to struggle with being the wife of a church planter. There is horror story, one after another, of the church planting family who falls apart in the middle of the process. The wives married with intention of being the wife of a computer programmer or an established church staff member. Then God directed the husband down a new road and the wife had to change her whole entire paradigm of thinking in order to follow. Even if she had every good intention of following the exciting journey of starting a new church, the stress of it all was too much to handle. The family suffered. The kids suffered. The church suffered. The marriage suffered.
And to that I say, "thank you, God, for making my story quite different." For it is a fact that these tragic stories unfold every day. And to those families, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could help you. I wish I could make the journey easier for you - or at least more comfortable.
You see, no matter how hard I might try to connect with the ladies that I talk to who are struggling with the whole idea of being the wife of a church planter, starting a church, and protecting their families in the middle, I have a very difficult time. For some reason I have not had those delimas.
Sure, there have been seasons of pulling out my hair, wondering if we would have enough money to pay the bills - many, many seasons. But doesn't everyone short of Bill Gates have those seasons? And sure, my husband is gone a lot. But what about the wife who's husband travels to Seattle Monday through Friday of every week and she and the kids only see him on the weekend? Is my life harder than hers? My husband sleeps next to me every night. Sure, he may get called out here and there, but seriously, who doesn't?
The journey of church planting for this wife has been nothing short of pure joy. I can't allow myself to feel guilty for the lack of struggle. We are blessed.
We are blessed to live in Superior, Colorado. We are blessed to have a very unique and loving church community. We are blessed when the checkbook says that we have $50 left and 5 days until the next paycheck. At least we aren't in the red yet. We are blessed when someone calls in the middle of the night. Often times if it weren't for Kevin they would have no place to turn. To me that makes me proud and honored to be the wife of a man who people can befriend to find comfort and guidance. We are blessed when the volunteers call in sick. At least we have children and families coming through the doors of the school building where we meet who need childcare. It's a stress to find someone to fill all the positions needed to pull off a Sunday morning event, but isn't it minor in the whole scheme of things?
I have had the privilege of watching entire families come to Christ. I have watched mom and dad baptize their child. I have seen broken families heal. I have watched leaders emerge. I have seen young believers discover their calling. I have seen people stretch themsleves into areas they never believed they would go. I have watched people serve and love and even travel to the other side of the world to share the love of Christ.
Cool River will be 4 years old soon. Yes, I am still a church planter's wife. We are a small congregation in one of the toughest areas in our nation to start a church - Boulder County. We still meet in a school. We are still young and very vulnerable. Every single stress of church planting is still upon our shoulders. We have to set boundaries and be intentional about family together times. We are in the thick of this thing called church planting.
In my mind, the journey is just all about perspective. I came into this season knowing full well that we might not make it. Statistics said we wouldn't. But I also knew that God didn't care about the statistics or the struggles or the time that it would take to get this thing off of the ground. He was most concerned with my heart. So I have tried very hard to continue to be concerned about the same things as him.
Through the good and bad I have tried hard to step back and always gain God's perspective on the situation. And as I have found that, the journey has seriously been a breeze. What an honor it is to be called out to do something as outrageous as starting a church. I have loved the ups and downs and the adventure of it all.
For this church planter's wife, there is no place I would rather be.
You see, no matter how hard I might try to connect with the ladies that I talk to who are struggling with the whole idea of being the wife of a church planter, starting a church, and protecting their families in the middle, I have a very difficult time. For some reason I have not had those delimas.
Sure, there have been seasons of pulling out my hair, wondering if we would have enough money to pay the bills - many, many seasons. But doesn't everyone short of Bill Gates have those seasons? And sure, my husband is gone a lot. But what about the wife who's husband travels to Seattle Monday through Friday of every week and she and the kids only see him on the weekend? Is my life harder than hers? My husband sleeps next to me every night. Sure, he may get called out here and there, but seriously, who doesn't?
The journey of church planting for this wife has been nothing short of pure joy. I can't allow myself to feel guilty for the lack of struggle. We are blessed.
We are blessed to live in Superior, Colorado. We are blessed to have a very unique and loving church community. We are blessed when the checkbook says that we have $50 left and 5 days until the next paycheck. At least we aren't in the red yet. We are blessed when someone calls in the middle of the night. Often times if it weren't for Kevin they would have no place to turn. To me that makes me proud and honored to be the wife of a man who people can befriend to find comfort and guidance. We are blessed when the volunteers call in sick. At least we have children and families coming through the doors of the school building where we meet who need childcare. It's a stress to find someone to fill all the positions needed to pull off a Sunday morning event, but isn't it minor in the whole scheme of things?
I have had the privilege of watching entire families come to Christ. I have watched mom and dad baptize their child. I have seen broken families heal. I have watched leaders emerge. I have seen young believers discover their calling. I have seen people stretch themsleves into areas they never believed they would go. I have watched people serve and love and even travel to the other side of the world to share the love of Christ.
Cool River will be 4 years old soon. Yes, I am still a church planter's wife. We are a small congregation in one of the toughest areas in our nation to start a church - Boulder County. We still meet in a school. We are still young and very vulnerable. Every single stress of church planting is still upon our shoulders. We have to set boundaries and be intentional about family together times. We are in the thick of this thing called church planting.
In my mind, the journey is just all about perspective. I came into this season knowing full well that we might not make it. Statistics said we wouldn't. But I also knew that God didn't care about the statistics or the struggles or the time that it would take to get this thing off of the ground. He was most concerned with my heart. So I have tried very hard to continue to be concerned about the same things as him.
Through the good and bad I have tried hard to step back and always gain God's perspective on the situation. And as I have found that, the journey has seriously been a breeze. What an honor it is to be called out to do something as outrageous as starting a church. I have loved the ups and downs and the adventure of it all.
For this church planter's wife, there is no place I would rather be.
2 comments:
I love the pic....It looks just like me. :-)
Hi Amy
I just came across your blog. I enjoyed your post. My husband has been full time at a new church plant for about 2 months now. The pastors wife thing is new to me so I like reading other wive's journeys. It can all be so very overwhelming at times but I love what you said about it being an honor to be called to start a new church. May God bless you and your family and ministry. I am a homeschool mom with 3 little ones (I have an Emma, too:)
Jennifer Morris
www.jennimorris.com
Post a Comment