FYI about Amy

Tonight I was thinking about this interesting fact about Amy that very few people know. Many people are clueless about this fact because it is more than likely quite irrelevent to anyone else but me. It is nothing earth shattering. Yet, as a young girl and even as an adult, this little known fact is possibly the marker in my life that helped to form me into the person that I am today.

You see the guy over there on the left? He's not an old boyfriend or a past youth pastor. He is not even a personal friend - though I have bought him dinner at Cracker Barrel before (long story). His name is Steven Curtis Chapman. "O yeah!," some of you might say. If you are a good church going teenager from the late 80's and 90's your mind might start singing to the tune of. . ."saddle up your horses, we've got a trail to blaze. . .this is the great adventure." Or maybe you have wedding memories of the song, "I will be here when the laughter turns to crying. . . ." Maybe you are thinking right about now, "what the heck is she talking about??!!" Please forgive my rambling.

Some people were raised on U2, Cindy Lauper and Guns and Roses. Others of us were sheltered in the Christian Contemporary music world of 4 Him, Amy Grant, Rich Mullins and Steven Curtis Chapman. Maybe it was because I lived so close to Nashville as a kid and college student that I was drawn to these Christian artists (and country heroes as well, if you must know). Maybe it's because on my first day in youth choir with Wayne Causey he plopped a red and white book in front of me with this guys name on it and made us sing every song time and time again. But my best guess is that God had a plan even in the music that was to come out of a teenagers tape player or a youth choir's Sunday night special. It was a plan that would serve to change the heart of a young believer. It was a purpose to disciple a young girl who had never really had that awesome Sunday school teacher or mentor to guide her in the right direction.

I remember so many nights when I sat at the crossroads of life changing decisions and God allowed the word's of SCChapman's music fill my mind and my heart. Those words touch me even today. He has discipled me and taught me more about God and life and love and risk and stillness, the ride and the adventure of life, than absolutely anyone else. Or should I say that God has taught me those things through him.

And he's a guy who does not even know my name. Sure, I have met Steven Curtis Chapman before. I have been to numerous concerts. I have followed his life and watched as God has used him in so many ways. But he is just a guy. He is a voice once wound up in my tape player and now stored away neatly in my ipod. But that voice will always be such a sweet comfort over me and my life. I listen to his music and I discover myself again. I once found the "Amy" that God created me to be in the midst of his songs. It almost seems crazy, but it is there that I can find her every single time - even today.

Today I Bought Sweatshirts!

I am so excited that fall is just around the corner. It is as if my summer has been a chaotic blur and everything within me is ready to shut down and settle into the coziness of fall. I noticed the first maple tree beginning to turn it's beautiful shade of crimson today. The night's are coming sooner and the crispness in the air that I am beginning to feel is so refreshing. School has begun and routine is here once again. aaahhh. . .it feels like relief.

But will life truly slow down for the Colon family? I seriously doubt it. Isn't there always something? As I write, Kevin is on the other side of the world involved in a huge world event. The Vietnamese government is discussing freedom of religion for the first time ever as a communist country. I would be crazy to think that this event will not have it's effects on the future of our church and family - who have both committed to share God's love in Vietnam. In some sense that I can't even fathom right now, it is going to be huge. And in the hugeness, I have no doubt that our family will continue to move through unexpected waters and uncharted territory.

Cool River is growing numerically. With growth comes change and with change comes challenges and with challenges come personal growth and formation. Wouldn't it be nice to think that one day we might "arrive" at some destination and just be able to sit back and breathe, saying, "wow, this is it!" But that is not reality. Life is fluid and ever-changing because God is always waiting to take us to the next level of his plan and purpose. Cool River is at a crossroads. It's not slowing down anytime soon.

So in the middle of it all, what is my greatest challenge? My greatest challenge is living in the moment. I so want to breathe slowly and "smell the flowers" with my children. I want to savour and truly celebrate Claire's victories of breaking through her shyness. I want to laugh with Olivia as she comes running to me with her Curious George panties on her head. I want to sit with Emma and share with her about the simple wonders of God's creation. I want to relax in the backyard with Kevin and dream about the future and be thankful for the blessings. In the middle of the craziness that we call life, I want to make sure that I don't miss the most important things - smiles and laughter and hugs and tickles. I want to read a good book just because it's enjoyable and not because I'm trying to learn something. I want to take a drive into the mountains with no particular destination in mind - just to stop along the way and enjoy the view. I want to spend time with God when there is no agenda that needs to be discussed.

Such simple desires - yet they are so often difficult to attain in the middle of the chaos. Lord, it's not necessarily that I want life to slow down. It's extremely exciting to be on this road that you have placed me. I just pray that as life happens that it does not pass by so rapidly that I miss you and all of the important things throughout the journey.

Today I bought sweatshirts for my girls. I can't believe it is already time to think about fall and winter being just around the corner. Buying warm clothes is just one thing that I can do to prepare us for the next season. Please, God, continue to prepare my heart for the next season of life that is coming up as well. Whatever I need to do to get ready - beyond just hanging on tightly for the ride - please let me know.

Day One

Today was day 1 of 15 that Kevin will be gone to Vietnam. As I write, he is probably getting ready to land in Hanoi. Only a few weeks ago I was the one on the other side of the world and he was alone with our girls. Now the roles have reversed and I am a single mom for a time.

I have no idea how Mom's that have husbands who travel regularly do it. I know that there is a point where you get used to the fact that Dad is away. Life adapts. But I have no desire to ever make this separation a regular part of our family's life. Though. . .that may be just the direction that life is taking us.

A year ago I would have never imagined that both Kevin and myself would be traveling to Vietnam so much. Until now, it was only a dream, a desire. And because I never believed that these opportunities would present themselves so quickly, I think I failed to mentally prepare for it all. Family time has always been extremely important to us. Kevin is always around. His office is at home. Whether he is playing with the girls or on a work related phone call, his voice is always echoing through the walls. But today, it has been quiet.

Today there have been no garage door noises signaling Daddy's return home or cell phones ringing in the middle of dinner. And tonight there will be no snoring - okay, so maybe one good thing will come out of his absense. But in 15 days I have a feeling that even the snoring will be a welcomed sound. All of the sounds will mean one thing - that Kevin is here with us again. And life will once again be as it should.

Until then, God, be near Daddy. We already miss him.

Happy Birthday!

The end of year 30 is fast approaching. In 3 days I will officially be "30-something."But this year's birthday is not painful like last. Three hundred and sixty two days into it, I have decided that I am going to enjoy my 30's. Granted, a few wrikles are quietly beginning to appear. I have discovered a few dreaded gray hairs and calories seem to stick to my middle with less effort than before. But despite all of those things, the really cool part is that life has more meaning to it than ever before. All of a sudden I have a life - a life that is about more than sleepless nights and dirty diapers, studying for school, moving, or holding my breath to see if Cool River will make it off the ground.

As I stand on the doorstep and get ready to enter into the world of "30-something," I find myself breathing easier. I see a future of actually using the gifts and knowledge God has given to me. I see a glimpse of opportunities never experienced. I see an exciting life with children whom I get to show the world. I see a marriage that is nine years strong and growing. I am beginning to see the fruits and blessings of our labor in Colorado and Cool River. And the anticipation of what is yet to come is terrific.

As I bring a close to year 30 I can do nothing but praise God for all he has done and continues to do. I had no idea that life was going to bring me to this place. In only the last month I have had opportunities only dreamed of. I have shared my church planting wife story with people from both the Colorado state convention as well as a large, new church planting team from Boulder County. - Lord, I am so blessed to have a successful story to share. - I shared with my family a terrific time in Glorietta, NM. I watched Emma, Claire and Olivia become more independent little people and found such joy in the fun that they had. - Lord, thanks for a family beyond my hopes and dreams. - I traveled to the other side of the world just to love on the Vietnamese people. How can I ever view my life in the same way again? - Father, I'm amazed at how you can cause a heart to love a people that it barely even knows! - I have celebrated with Kevin 9 years of bumpy (at times), beautiful marriage and my oldest daughter, Emma, turned 7 years old and started 2nd grade. WOW! This was one month. And I get a sense that the best is yet to come.

Lord, I pray that the journey has just begun. Please lead me your way into this next year. You have been so good to me! I can't wait to see where this 30-something road leads.