As I set out on the holiday season this year I had one wish. In my imagination it seemed like such a simple word with a simple meaning that should be somewhat easy to achieve if I planned everything just perfectly. I mean come on, failing to plan means planning to fail, right? But if I planned it all just right, then all would be perfect. . .The image that I pictured in my Leave it to Beaver, White Christmas, Silent Night dreams was PEACE. This should be simple, right? It's what the entire holiday season is all about. . .mornings filled with blissful children eating breakfast while reading a Christmas book or the Bible story around the table. . .afternoons making snowflakes and cookies as the snow falls outside - no one fighting or yelling - no where to go - fuzzy pajamas are the outfit of choice for the day. . .evenings curled up with Kevin and a good book by the fireplace as my sweet, loving children sleep with visions of sugarplums in their heads. . . PEACE.
Just make sure that all of the Christmas shopping is completed by the first week in December before the major rush hits. Check - I did that. Then plan all of my own holiday parties very early in the season so to give me the incentive to get my house in order and the tree decorated. Check - I did that. I successfully pulled off a coffee/baby shower for about 33 ladies in our church. We had a terrific morning. My duties are now done and the rest of the days until the new year will be nothing but joy and PEACE.
So today I sit here. It is December 16 - 15 days have passed since the coffee. We are finished with school until the new year. The house is clean for the hundredth time. And I am still anticipating my blissful PEACE. Did I miss it somehow? Was it just within my grasp only to be swept away with my calendar of events that quickly packed out? You see, nothing is happening quite as I planned. You would think that I would have learned that reality by now. Life spins and spins and we can either make the choice to keep up or fall off. Today, I am trying to keep my balance.
Today I am sick. And as I am sick, there are 17 people whom I love in my living room having a small group meeting that I should be attending as well. But I'm not. . .because I'm sick. But my house is clean. . .and life spins. Yesterday looked like this - 10am - 12pm Cool River Kid's Event for the holidays, 1:30 - 3:00 Town of Superior Event - Skate with Santa, pick up the girls from a playdate, 5:30 - 8:00 Game Night at another friend's house, 8:00 put the girls to bed and crash. . . I absolutely LOVE to be with my friends. Parts of me simply adores the holiday rush and madness. I'm the one who wants to go to the mall on Christmas Eve Day just to sit back and watch the crowd scramble about as I drink my Starbucks and join them in their spinning. But what about PEACE?
How do you find peace when your children are hyped up on sugar all the time from every party they attend? How do you find peace when your to-do and to-go lists grows so quickly and effortlessly? How do you find peace when you are dragging your kids to every school party and holiday function that everyone says they simply must not miss out on? And how, o how do you teach the simple yet grand meaning of the holiday season in the middle of the spinning? Sure, we have a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas day. We set out the nativity and tell the Christmas story. We sing Silent Night and O Little Town of Bethlehem over and over again. We give shoeboxes filled with goodies to the kids around the world and we gather toys for children in our town. We go and do and spin and run even to get the important things done. But what about the PEACE?????
I have a few churchy, logical answers to the entire delima. I know what I could do or maybe should do to experience it. But then another kids screams because her sister pushed her out of her room. Or then the dog chews up another favorite toy. Dinner burns or something breaks. Someone whines or won't got to sleep. And my peace. . .it drifts farther and farther away. And in my exhaustion, I just close my eyes and hope for a more peaceful tomorrow.
Lord, I don't mean to whine. I am blessed above and beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. It's not about wishing life were different. It's all about wishing my brain could somehow deal with it all better. I think PEACE probably comes when we allow it to come. Please help me to allow it into my life starting today.
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