The Sweetest Gift

Today I was given the sweetest gift. It was nothing material. It did not come in a package with a big red bow on top. It was simply the sound of the sweetest voice I have ever heard.

You see, Emma is my quiet, less likely to share emotions or do things to make others look at her, kind of girl. She is the one who hides in her room when Gran and Pop have to leave to go back to Kentucky so she doesn't have to say "goodbye." She is the one who tends to clam up when adults speak to her (though she is getting much better - thank God!). And she is the one who typically sings like a mouse, if she sings at all, during worship on a Sunday morning. Other kids around her just sing and clap, but Emma usually stands quietly and barely makes a sound.

But today. . .today was so sweet.

The majority of our worship team was out of town today for the holidays. Kevin decided to make it a family celebration and just pull out the school's grand piano and let a guy from church lead us in some good old fashioned Christmas carols. I don't know if it was the fact that we were singing Christmas songs or that it was a much more intimate setting, but by the second chorus of the first song, for the very first time in worship, I heard my Emma singing out loud with all her might. And she didn't stop! Now of course, I didn't dare show a sign that I was listening. If I had glanced her way, she for sure would have silenced once again. Instead, I just soaked it in. Her beautiful little "off key" voice singing Silent Night was one of the best gifts I could have gotten this Christmas.

Isn't it funny - we run around like crazy shopping for the perfect gift - and yet it is the sound of a little girl singing Christmas carols at church that ends up topping the list. Thanks, God, for allowing me to notice a great gift this Christmas.

The Saga of a Church Planting Mom During the Holidays

As I set out on the holiday season this year I had one wish. In my imagination it seemed like such a simple word with a simple meaning that should be somewhat easy to achieve if I planned everything just perfectly. I mean come on, failing to plan means planning to fail, right? But if I planned it all just right, then all would be perfect. . .

The image that I pictured in my Leave it to Beaver, White Christmas, Silent Night dreams was PEACE. This should be simple, right? It's what the entire holiday season is all about. . .mornings filled with blissful children eating breakfast while reading a Christmas book or the Bible story around the table. . .afternoons making snowflakes and cookies as the snow falls outside - no one fighting or yelling - no where to go - fuzzy pajamas are the outfit of choice for the day. . .evenings curled up with Kevin and a good book by the fireplace as my sweet, loving children sleep with visions of sugarplums in their heads. . . PEACE.

Just make sure that all of the Christmas shopping is completed by the first week in December before the major rush hits. Check - I did that. Then plan all of my own holiday parties very early in the season so to give me the incentive to get my house in order and the tree decorated. Check - I did that. I successfully pulled off a coffee/baby shower for about 33 ladies in our church. We had a terrific morning. My duties are now done and the rest of the days until the new year will be nothing but joy and PEACE.

So today I sit here. It is December 16 - 15 days have passed since the coffee. We are finished with school until the new year. The house is clean for the hundredth time. And I am still anticipating my blissful PEACE. Did I miss it somehow? Was it just within my grasp only to be swept away with my calendar of events that quickly packed out? You see, nothing is happening quite as I planned. You would think that I would have learned that reality by now. Life spins and spins and we can either make the choice to keep up or fall off. Today, I am trying to keep my balance.

Today I am sick. And as I am sick, there are 17 people whom I love in my living room having a small group meeting that I should be attending as well. But I'm not. . .because I'm sick. But my house is clean. . .and life spins. Yesterday looked like this - 10am - 12pm Cool River Kid's Event for the holidays, 1:30 - 3:00 Town of Superior Event - Skate with Santa, pick up the girls from a playdate, 5:30 - 8:00 Game Night at another friend's house, 8:00 put the girls to bed and crash. . . I absolutely LOVE to be with my friends. Parts of me simply adores the holiday rush and madness. I'm the one who wants to go to the mall on Christmas Eve Day just to sit back and watch the crowd scramble about as I drink my Starbucks and join them in their spinning. But what about PEACE?

How do you find peace when your children are hyped up on sugar all the time from every party they attend? How do you find peace when your to-do and to-go lists grows so quickly and effortlessly? How do you find peace when you are dragging your kids to every school party and holiday function that everyone says they simply must not miss out on? And how, o how do you teach the simple yet grand meaning of the holiday season in the middle of the spinning? Sure, we have a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas day. We set out the nativity and tell the Christmas story. We sing Silent Night and O Little Town of Bethlehem over and over again. We give shoeboxes filled with goodies to the kids around the world and we gather toys for children in our town. We go and do and spin and run even to get the important things done. But what about the PEACE?????

I have a few churchy, logical answers to the entire delima. I know what I could do or maybe should do to experience it. But then another kids screams because her sister pushed her out of her room. Or then the dog chews up another favorite toy. Dinner burns or something breaks. Someone whines or won't got to sleep. And my peace. . .it drifts farther and farther away. And in my exhaustion, I just close my eyes and hope for a more peaceful tomorrow.

Lord, I don't mean to whine. I am blessed above and beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. It's not about wishing life were different. It's all about wishing my brain could somehow deal with it all better. I think PEACE probably comes when we allow it to come. Please help me to allow it into my life starting today.

Officially Published

For those of you who have been reading my blogs for the past few years, you will remember that at one time I made the comment that I would love to write a book someday. Well, I guess you could say that this is my first official baby step in that direction.

A few months ago I was asked to write a letter that turned out to be a two page insert into this possibly first ever compiled book that is specifically for church planting wives. It's pretty cool to see my name and thoughts in a book that was also contributed to by people such as Dave Ramsey (Christian Financial Planning guru), Tina Cole (wife of Neil Cole, house church/church planting dude :-)), Kim McManus (wife of Erwin McManus, emerging church guy with Mosaic in LA) and Niki Roberts (wife of Bob Roberts and one of my best friends and mentors). Though my input was very small, it was a lot of fun to be a part of it all.

To the church planting wife or wife-to-be AND to the church planter. . .it's a good read. It's like turbo training in 166 pages. The best part? You can download it here for free. PS. . . I'm on pages 54 - 55.

Cakes I Made

To the Movies

HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY, CLAIRE!!!!!
For Claire's birthday she decided to take her sisters and 2 friends, Megan and Kate, to the mall for candy at Fuzziwigs Candy Store and to get a Webkinz. Then we all went to see Enchanted. It was a fun, snowy day.

HaHa

On Friday's the other two girls go to school and Olivia and I spend the day together. Today we are at home watching it snow.

As Olivia was eating her lunch and watching cartoons, I went outside to the garage to do my weekly cleaning out of the van. When I came back in, this is the conversation that Olivia and I shared as she was standing on the steps with ECO.

Olivia: "I thought you and Daddy were gone." (there were no tears in her eyes. . .only a huge Olivia smile)

Me: "You did? No, I was out in the van cleaning up all of your trash."

Olivia: giggle

Me: "What would you have done if we had really left you alone? Would you have been scared?"

Olivia: "Nope". . . giggle

Me: "So what would you have done?"

Olivia: "Just chewed gum.". . . and she pranced away to play with ECO again.

For those of you who know Olivia well, you will laugh at this classic Olivia answer. She is a gum monster.