Kicking My Butt

Yep, God seems to be doing that quite often these days. And you know, it's all my fault. :-) You see, about 4 months ago Kevin and I were sharing in a small group about the times that God has forced us to take huge leaps of faith in our lives and in our marriage. It was fun to share and even fun to think back on - remembering the hard times and being on the other side, seeing how God provided. That night on the way home I made the ridiculous mistake of saying to Kevin that I kinda wish one of those faith step moments would happen again. Lesson #1 - Don't ever say that!!!!! It's like asking for patience. Everyone says don't do it or you will have to go through a tough time of God giving something horrible to you to be patient about. Well, don't ever say you want to work on your character some more by being faced with a faith step either.

My character is exhausted!! For the last 3 months God has allowed stress after stress to pile up on me on the money end of life like he has not done in a very long time. That is not what I meant when I asked for faith steps to be presented. In my mind I think I was dreaming of something fun and crazy that he might ask us to do, and my character growth would be in the faithful following of that. But no - instead God decides once again to hit me with the issue of money. "When will I be enough, Amy?" "When will you truly trust me to provide?" "How are you going to handle this hit and this little twist of the knife?" "How is your integrity?" "How emotionally tied to this money stuff are you?" "Do you remember that I own it all?" "Do you remember that I can give and take away at a moment's notice?"

So last Sunday I was sitting in church with all of my girls worshipping to a song that is really dear to my heart. "Blessed Be the Name" was the first song that we ever sang at Cool River. Josh was playing and we were meeting at the AMC. Every single time I hear that song I have such fond memories. And as I was singing and thinking about that again, God opened my ears to the words in a different way. . .

Blessed be the Name in the Land that is Plentiful
Where the Streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be you name
One the road marked with suffering
When there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be the name. . . . .
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name. . . .

And it struck me - it's about saying "blessed be your name" to God, no matter what. That was the lesson he wanted me to get!

Blessed be his name no matter what. Blessed be his name when the credits and debits don't match up. Blessed be his name when there is money in the saving account and when there is not. Blessed be his name when the dog gets sick, when the taxes are great, when the hospital bills come, when someone else unknowlingly makes a mistake that causes me grief or when a car accident happens that causes unexpected repairs. Blessed by his name when my children laugh as they are burying themselves in the snow. Blessed be his name when Kevin and I have a great date night. Blessed be his name when I sit in the mountains of Vietnam. Blessed be his name when the sun comes up another day. Blessed be his name when we get 45 inches of snow and I am stuck in the house for days. Blessed be his name!

That's it.

I get it.

Lord, blessed be your name.