New Beginnings

Happy 2007! With only a few hours to go, I suppose it would be appropriate to spend a little bit of time reflecting on 2006 and dreaming about what 2007 might be. I just love new beginnings. Kevin has always said to me that I am a great starter. So this time of year really excites me. A fresh new calendar, a clean slate. . .that feeling like you had back in school when you opened up a brand new, fresh, clean notebook for the very first time. . .so many possibilities.

2006 has been a great year for the Colon family. I can't say that there has been any tremendously huge drama. We have ridden the ride of Cool River for another year. God has blessed and grown that entire community. We have made some new friends and grown closer to many old ones.

As a family we have traveled a lot. Kevin went to Vietnam twice and I finally got to return again after 7 years of longing to be back there. We spent a week in Glorietta, New Mexico, and made it back home to Kentucky 2 times.

Emma turned 7 and we have successfully made it through the first semester of second grade homeschooling. She made the decision to follow Jesus this fall and become a Christian. That was this years biggest blessing for our family. Claire turned 5 and has made really big steps toward overcoming her shyness. I see her coming into her own unique personality as 2007 begins. Olivia is simply a pleasant, adorable 3 year old with a mind of her own.

I can't say that I have and regrets as 2006 ends. Are there many things to improve in 2007? Absolutely! For one, I want Kevin to be able to say that not only am I a good starter but a good finisher. There is going to be a great opportunity to be just that as I will be serving as the interim children's pastor at church this year. 2007 is going to be a great juggling act. Between homeschool, raising a family, church, this new job, going back to Vietnam, family time and "me" time, it is going to be a year spent like never before. It almost feels as if we are stepping back in time to those seminary days in Ft. Worth when so much was happening as Kevin and I were trying to do church and family and finish our degrees. But what an incredible time that was! Hard - but so worth the work. These are my expectations for the new year as well. Hopefully I am even better prepared today for the challenge.

So what is the mark of a successful year? - to look back and see that I have grown. . . to see that I am not where I was this time last year. . .to see that I have not taken steps backward but made strides forward. Have I stumbled along the way? More than I would like to admit. But in the end, I am pleased and I am ready for yet another new start. I can't wait to write again next year at this same time. I'm sure I could not even begin to imagine what lies ahead.

New Year's Resolution? I don't even bother making those because I always break them at about week 2. But new year's goals and dreams. . .here's a few.

To dream bigger.

To trust God more and spend even more time studying.

To worry less.

To win the reading war with Kevin - we are planning to see who can read the most books this year. Last year I read over 25 so my goal is at least 30.

To return to Vietnam - the dream would be to go as a family, but that would be a big God thing if it became possible.

To mentor and build more meaningful friendships.

To serve and finish well with Cool River Kids.

Go on a mini "Amy" vacation

To be more purposeful in spending quality fun time with my girls.

To continue date night with Kevin and plan a mini vacation just for the two of us.

I'm sure there are many other things to dream of and hope for. I can't even imagine them all because I have no idea what the future holds. As I write throughout the next year, I'm sure there will be many goals accomplished and many surprises realized. Here we go. . . .

The Journey Continues

To read about my new adventure, click here. . .

Money

There is no other thing that I have more of a love/hate relationship with in this life than money. Have you ever felt that way? Money seems to come around just long enough for you to take a deep breath and then whoosh, it's gone again. There is nothing else that has the power to change my mood than this horrible thing that even the Bible calls the "root of all evil." Money has the power to change me from a peaceful person to an angry, anxious and scared person in only a matter of moments. Credits, yea! Debits, o no!!! And when the debits outweigh the credits, everyone had better watch out! Amy's level of anxiety has been raised to a 10 and the fallout of my mood is going to affect everyone in arms reach.

Now that's a sad confession.

Do I want to be this way? Of course not. My mind knows all the right answers when it comes to tight situations. God is the great provider. God has never, ever let us fall. God has blessed our family "exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine (Eph, 3:20)." Is he going to stop today? Is he going to stop next week or next year? No. God did not sign on to be with us and provide for us for only 18 or 21 or 45 years. He signed on for life - and for life eternal.

So why do I get so crazy when bills add up and there seems to be no hope of staying afloat? If I say I know God and trust God, why do I doubt him when things seem out of my control? That is the exact moment that he promises to step in, isn't it? That's why he brings us to those places, isn't it? That's how he makes us dependent on him, right? But, o, how I can't stand it! How I hate to be pushed to the edge. How I hate to be dependent on anyone - even God. That must be pride, huh?

So what can I do when life is life and throws it's rotten eggs? Breathe. . .Take a deep breath, pray for my own sanity, pray for God's hand of protection and provision once again, truly give the matter to him (which is SUPER hard) and wait. I can not figure out the debits of life on my own. I have no power to fix anything. All I can do is live each day, take what comes and trust God to handle the rest.

God, please help me to roll peacefully with the punches, cease knocking those around me out along the way, breathe easily and trust you more.

Christmas Morning

More memories. . .

Christmas morning in my house growing up was always very peaceful. Christmas music would be playing when I awoke and Mom would always try to give me hot chocolate that I was much too excited to ever drink. It was never any huge production. I really like that. Because I grew up and only child, everything was always very calm and orderly - very unlike Christmas mornings at my house today. You know, I never understood until I became a parent the whole deal about why my mom and dad waited so long to open their own gifts on Christmas morning. I was always more than ready to tear into mine. I would open everything and have it all arranged just perfectly so that I could then sit back and observe all that I had received and my parents would still have a pile of gifts wrapped neatly at their feet. But I get it now. I'm just like them now. The gifts for me mean very little in comparison to the opportunity to watch the expressions on my girls' faces as they open their own.

Next, it was time to get dressed and go to Katie and Pappy's house. You know, I was a little girl when Pappy was with us for Christmas. I don't remember a lot. But in my mind I can still see him at the head of the table for Christmas morning breakfast. It was always a breakfast with all the trimmings - especially country ham. But the gifts had to come first. I remember Nancy still dressed in some long, cozy extra warm gown and robe (she was always so cold!) sitting in the middle of the floor with me as we passed out presents together. Just like Mom and Dad, Katie and Mamaw would watch and watch as everyone else opened their gifts. Then we would have to wait another fifteen minutes for them to finally open theirs. Santa visited so many houses when I was a kid. I wonder how he ever knew that I was going to be coming to them all? Every place I went I had a gift that said "from Santa" on the tag. I eventually figured it out that that usually meant "from Katie" instead. Surely the real Santa would not give Dad and Wayne underwear and socks.

The day ended with a meal once again (we ate a lot) at Grandma and Papaw's house. And that was Christmas. It was a wonderful time. Christmas as a kid will always be some of my very best memories. So to Mom and Dad, Katie and Pappy, Nancy and Wayne, Mamaw and Aaron, Willa, Jack and Rose, Grandma and Papaw, Ma, Kay, Gay, Jeff and all the family - thank you from the bottom of my heart for the memories. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for providing me a great foundation - a wonderful and healthy start. Thank you for the security of home and happiness. Thank you for investing in me and loving me. I miss you!

And when Emma, Claire and Olivia grow up I hope that they will also be able to look back and remember all the little things and all the love that they found in their holiday traditions, too. It's not easy to be so far away from "home" this time of year. But I am blessed and thankful for all the new memories I get to make.

I'll Be Home for Christmas. . .

if only in my dreams. . . . .

Well, it's Christmas Eve. . .and I am home. No, not "home." "Home" is many, many miles away. At "home" right now it's late afternoon. Grandma and Papaw are already watching and waiting for the first sign of family to drive up. Their video camera is charged and ready to go. Either coconut or jam cake is on the kitchen counter ready to be enjoyed by all. All of the kids have grown up now. It's not the same as it used to be. But it is tradition all the same.

I remember as a kid being so excited to finally get to Grandma and Papaw's house because it was there that we would sit and watch for Santa's sleigh on the evening news. Then Dad would tell me that we had better hurry home before Santa got to our house. So after bagging up all of the mounds of wrapping paper and loading the trunk of the car with all of our goodies, we would say "goodbye" and Christmas Eve would officially come to an end. I will forever cherish the memories of that crowded little living room full of family and love.

. . . . . .

Christmas Eve growing up was quite the event. I'm not sure what time the festivities started, but I am quite sure that I have no idea how we fit everything in. The best I can remember, we started our night at Willa and Jack's house. As a little girl I was always so happy to be there. They always had a UK game on the tv and Christmas music in the background. The tree was huge and the presents were so many that they filled the entire room. This was a time to be with family that I did not see very often except for the holidays. Rose and Willa always prepared the yummiest food and as a little girl I remember always hearing Janet Webb's voice in the background. We always put our coats in Jack and Willa's bedroom and as the night went on I remember wanting to escape back into that room and look around. I'm not sure why. I think I was always fascinated because Jack and Willa slept on two twin beds. Isn't it funny the things that our minds store away as lasting memories?

After Willa and Jack's it was on to church for the Christmas Eve service and then to Mamaw and Aaron's house. And what do I remember about that?. . . Ina's cream candy packaged in mason jars and curly ribbon, a stocking filled with half dollars and yummy fruit, a tiny little tree that sat on a small table and all around it was surrounded with First Bank and Trust envelopes for the whole family. I remember Aaron sitting in his gold colored chair and Mamaw in her thin striped green dress with a little zipper on the front and a Christmas pin. And I remember her laughing so hard that she could hardly catch her breath as she told her stories.

I wonder. . .what kind of memories will my girls have of the holidays? It's not the same today as it was back then. Our town was small. My family surrounded me. I can't recall that I ever received a UPS box filled with gifts or a Christmas card that said "Merry Christmas from across the miles." But. . .tonight we are HOME. The snow is falling again tonight. We are having a very white Christmas (of 30+ inches of snow). We are together. Our house is warm and filled with love. It's good. So, Merry Christmas across the miles to all of my family!

Merry Christmas!!!

Today's "Olivia-isms"

"Claire hurt my feelings and I need to go to the doctor!"

With hands on her hips and lip out. . ."I don't want God to keep me safe tonight. And I can have good dreams all my myself!"

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

We have been listening to Christmas music a lot in our house lately. It's hard to believe that it is already that time of year again. But today I can say that officially "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas." As I sit here at the computer I am looking out of my window to about 4 leftover inches of snow from earlier in the week as even more is right now falling from the sky. That's Colorado for ya. We had a 70 degree Thanksgiving. Now the snow is here. And on Christmas day it will once again probably be a balmy and sunny day. O, but we love the snow. We will take it when we can get it.

As a family we have always made it a point to wait until after Claire's birthday on the 5th to put up our tree in an attempt to separate the two holidays. This year we are going home to Kentucky before Christmas so I had to break my rule and put up the tree already. It's a kid tree with penguins and Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake, Dora and princesses. And already it has been such a joy to watch the girls excitement over it. With only the lights on the tree they were already "practicing for Christmas." They turned all of the lights in the entire house off except for the tree and then went around gathering up anything they could find to pose as presents - dirty clothes, shoes, old toys - whatever was on the floor. They placed the "presents" under the tree, ran upstairs to pretend they were sleeping, ran down the steps when it was time to wake up, asked if they could see their gifts and very excitedly opened each one. This provided an entire evening of entertainment.

Now the ornaments are on and all is complete. The snow is falling. The house is clean. And what do I intend to do today? Absolutely NOTHING! We have a gingerbread house to decorate, a UK basketball game to watch and a party to go to tonight. It's Saturday and I 'm thrilled to be able to relax. We leave for Kentucky on Monday. Can't wait!

Happy Holidays to all!