Complaining

I have heard more complaining in the last 48 hours than a person should ever have to listen to in a lifetime! Seven year old, Emma, 4 1/2 year old, Claire, and 3 year old (this week), Olivia, have obviously teamed up on this "single mom." They have without a doubt, when I was not around, formed a conspiracy to bring as much havoc upon Mom's life as they possibly can by the time the days without Dad come to an end.

I am hoping and praying that I am not going bonkers. Surely others have experienced this feeling of despair and they just don't share it for fear of someone thinking them a terrible parent. Today I feel like a terrible parent. I know that is false. But today it feels very much like reality. I have never been a gentle, sweet, "Leave it to Beaver" kind of Mom. Though I have prayed for the ability to parent with such grace and quietness many times, it seems as if that prayer is not one to be answered. And that is okay. But good grief! What is a mom to do?!

There has been more crying and screaming today in this household by very loud, determined children than I care to share in full. Emma wants breakfast but can't seem to find anything that suits - so she pouts. She wants her hair blown straight for church instead of curly, so she cries. She does not want Qdoba for lunch, so she whines. Her sister took her spot in front of the TV, so she cries AND hits. It's bedtime and she is not tired, so she crosses her arms and with much indignation sits on her bed to COMPLAIN!

Claire wakes up and needs a hug. I hug her and she screams because I squeezed too tight. She can't find her shoes for church and she stomps her foot in anger. Olivia bumps into her and she pushes her out of the way. The snack bar that she insisted on getting at Safeway is "yucky" and she throws it on the ground. Her gown is too tight and her pillow is too soft. She goes to bed MAD.

Olivia just whines. She is such an easygoing kid that she really can't even come up with a reason to whine. It just seems like the thing to do, so she joins in. O yeah, and then Emma pulls her too hard while leading her through Safeway parking lot and makes her fall and get bloody knees. So then she CRIES! Mom chooses the Sesame Street Band-Aid instead of Strawberry Shortcake and her world falls apart.

This was a brif summary of my day.

But the house is quiet now - except for the sound of the dog that is crying to go ouside - guess I should take care of one last crisis before saying "goodnight."

You may laugh at my day as you read. That's fine. For anyone on the outside looking in, I'm sure it would have been quite humorous. But for this mom, I am EXHAUSTED! Emotionally I am ready to sell my kids to the circus. But it was just a day and this is just a short inconvenience of life when I stand back and look at the whole picture. Yes, there are many, many things about myself and the way that I fail to handle my children correctly that I need to work on very hard. I'm just glad that when night comes and they all look so sweet, sleeping in their beds, that I have the hope of another day and another chance tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll do better. Please, God, tomorrow let me be better. I know that when I am "better" - more on top of my game and less self centered- they respond likewise.

Goodnight.
(O, and please, God, don't let a mouse find its way into my room tonight. :-)