ER

So. . . it has been quite some time since I last wrote. To say that many things have been happening would be an understatement. But life is good. Everything is good. . .

Have you ever been to the emergency room? Well, here's the best advice for your next visit - and with any luck you will never find yourself in the situation to ever us it. . .whether you think you have a broken leg or even pneumonia, just make sure you mention your heart. When they hear the word heart you automatically become a VIP like never before. It's like a great ego boost. Fifteen people can be lined up before you, waiting for hours, but if you say "heart" to the lady on the other side of the desk, you are automatically the queen (or king) of line cutting. It's like that rush of adrenaline that you used to feel as a kindergartener when your teacher chose you to be the first one out the door for recess. I know this feeling all too well. You see, last week I was the one standing at the emergency room registration desk relaying the news that my heart was beating rapidly and I could not get it to slow down. I quickly became VIP for the day at Avista emergency room in Louisville, Colorado.

It was a little scary. I won't lie. I'm a coffee drinker. I have a little bit of knowledge as to what 5 cups of coffee can do to a person. I can imagine the jittery feeling of loads of caffeine that has been poured into my body. But on that particular morning, all I had was orange juice. It was definitely not the Starbucks effect. Come to find out (so they say), it was the thyroid medicine effect. Thanks a lot Mr. generic drug manufacturer.

So I have a great story. It was an experience. And today I am living like my grandparents on blood pressure medicine. I'm telling ya, you hit 30 and life is all down hill!haha Next week I get more tests. And eventually this experience will be over. Life will move on. Another experience will take its place.

But until then, I am sitting here tonight asking God, "why?" Why this? What is the purpose? What am I supposed to learn? What part of my character are you wanting to chisel on? Why, God, are you allowing me to face the uncertainty and the anxiety of not knowing completely what is happening in this body of mine? I do want to discover anything you've got to teach. I get excited about opportunities to grow and come out a better person. But the anxiety part of the experience I could do without. Just carry me through it like you always do, okay? I have no fear. I'm listening.