Revolutionaries are faithful to the extreme in whatever circumstance God has placed them. It's risky. It's dangerous. It's extremely difficult to live a revolutionary life. But anything else is simply second best. I know that I do not want to come to the end of my life and say - "It was okay. I settled. Life was good. I played it safe. Now I'll go be with Jesus." No way! Iwant to say - "It was unbelieveable! It was painfully wonderful! Life was a great adventure! I chose not to just settle for a life of 'churchianity.' I lived the life Jesus wanted me to live. I can't wait to actually see this guy that I have gotten to know so well and trust so much!"
But what gifts and circumstances has God given me? (And what am I supposed to do with them?)
An amazing husband whom I love, trust and respect. . . I am blessed beyond measure to have a husband whom I can say in any situation, "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul. 1 Samuel 14:7" He seeks God and knows God and follows God. I can trust anything that he says God is calling our family to do. That is a great blessing.
Three beautiful, healthy, strong-willed and happy daughters. . .Being a mom is the greatest pleasure of my life. Some day I admit that I forget that. I want to lock them in their rooms and hide under my covers. But what a joy it is to watch them grow and learn about God and life.
The opportunity to homeschool and be a stay home mom. . .that was never the plan for my life but I am so glad that when God called me to that I said "yes."
A love for Vietnam. . .though I have been there only once I have never lost the desire to be back with those people. The attraction is a mystery. But God has placed something in my heart that always turns it back to that place. I'll go there this summer and try to discover the reason for that passion.
A positive church planting wife story. . .many women in my shoes would have bailed a long time ago. Being a church planter's wife is hard work. There is lots of risk and uncertainty and faith involved. There is a lot of "single" parenting to be done in the early days. There is little stability and high stress. And yet, God has allowed me to just be able to "go with the flow" of whatever has come our way. My heart breaks for the wives who struggle and for the families that are often injured in the journey of church planting.
A master's degree from seminary in Christian education. . .that's an odd one - I'm not sure what good that one is ever going to do me. It was a season of life. It was a lofty accomplishment to some. It is something I am proud to have accomplished and yet it has never been about the degree. It was about the experience and discipline and learning moments during that time in life.
So. . .I'm not in the workplace. God has not given me those lives to influence. I have many responsibilities that keep me closer to home and only loosly connected with people on a regular basis. But the thing that keeps screaming at me as I think about the "revolution" is my children and my family. That is the number one thing that God has placed in front of me. He has entrusted me with three lives to guide and influence and impact. He has entrusted me with a home to manage and keep peaceful. And then he has given me a few other avenues to explore (Vietnam and CP wives) once the main ones get in order.
I guess that means that for today - for this time in life - I have my answer. I need to be a revolutionary in my home (with my kids most of all) and in my day to day circumstances. I need to be faithful with what God has given me and accept the peace that comes from knowing that I am doing exactly what God wants of me at this time in life. And then, I need to continue to explore the other abilities and passions that are also in my heart and watch and wait for God opportunities to dabble in and seek to do revolutionary things in those.
God, please help me to be faithful. Satan often tells me the lies that what I am doing is insignificant. It's hard not to buy into those lies when I see others around me doing seemingly great things for you, Lord. I have a hard time not envying someone elses position or opportunities. But I long to be faithful. I long to be and do exactly what you desire. Please keep working on my heart. Transform me more.